tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9618048743217698852024-03-21T10:49:53.537-05:00The Highest Prizeultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-9467027598860760042013-01-31T05:33:00.002-06:002013-01-31T05:33:25.584-06:00Why I Almost Didn't Believe in God<br />
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First of all I want to warn you that if you don’t want to be
faced with some very difficult ideas (and some “language”) then this post and
the ones to follow are not ones that you want to read. This post is very long
as well…so don’t start reading till you have 15-20 minutes to devote to it
should you decide to continue.</div>
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Also, this is going to be a parent post for a series of
posts to come. The bulk of this entry will be my story over the last several
months which will lay the groundwork for why I have the views I now have. Incorporated into that will be hints toward some of the major "flaws" I see in Christianity which I will address in separate posts at a later time.</div>
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That being said please do not take this post or the ones to
come as me saying that I am better than anyone else because I have realized
these things. I am still a sinner. I still do many of the things I am going to
attack in these posts. I am “preaching” to myself as much as anyone else.</div>
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Also, I want everyone to know (including you mom and dad, if
you read this) that I do love both of my parents with all my heart, despite
their failures and mistakes. No one is perfect, least of all them, and I don’t
expect perfection from them. The things that they did were because they loved
us and wanted what they thought was best for us.</div>
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So, my story. As many of you (if not all) that read my posts
know, I grew up in a conservative Christian home where the Bible was held in
high esteem, as it still is. I went to a church (beginning in 5<sup>th</sup>
grade) that taught sound biblical doctrine and grew up under the influence of
leaders who really and truly cared about me and where I stood spiritually. I
had three adult men who met with me regularly to disciple me and a mother
figure who loved me unconditionally, and that is saying a lot, because I
certainly didn’t deserve it most of the time (you all know who you are <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span>).
However, during the early years of my life, up into my early teens, my parents
(who I love dearly) were borderline legalistic. Everything was either black or
white. You didn’t drink because it was bad. You didn’t smoke because it was
bad. You didn’t listen to music with electric guitars or drums because it was
just noise and there was no way you could actually worship to it; that combined
with the fact that my parents just didn’t like that kind of music. My parent’s
tastes were to be my tastes just because that’s what they said. Now, I don’t
think any of those things were every directly spoken to me (besides the music
part), but the way I was raised and the implications that were made caused that
line of thinking in me. I remember the night that I would say the Lord truly
saved me. I had made some huge mistakes (or so they seemed to a 16 year old)
and I couldn’t sleep that night. I stayed up for most of the night repenting of
those sins to the Lord and asking him to forgive me and make me his child.
After hours of that I sat down at my computer and began writing 5 or 6 emails
to people whom I had wronged asking their forgiveness in the situation as well.
I determined in my heart to live a better life from that moment forward.
Needless to say, that earthly, man-centered focus dwindled rapidly. </div>
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I breezed through my high school years like I was the only
one in the world that mattered; everyone else was just here to serve me. I
wouldn’t say I was popular, but people certainly knew who I was. I was front
and center for years whether it was leading worship on Sunday and Wednesday
nights, performing songs I had written during spiritual retreats, taking charge
of renovation projects on mission trips because “I knew what I was doing and no
one else did,” or just being that guy that is super loud all the time. I was in
it for what I could get out of it. It was all about me and getting mine. The
end of junior year rolls around and I start dating for the first time. Looking
back now, I am amazed that I managed to have a good healthy relationship for
almost 2 years with a woman who was so far out of my league it is mind
boggling. I was SO self obsessed and falsely self actualizing. Even in all of
this though, I held fast to my uptight, legalistic, judgmental “Christian”
beliefs and values. I never drank, smoked, did drugs, cussed, had sex, or any
of those worldly awful things that sinners who were on the fast track to hell
did. </div>
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Then came college. My first two semesters I was a good kid
and I still held fast to my beliefs, values and convictions. I didn’t touch
alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. They were of the devil remember? I went to church
every Sunday and even went to a Christian Conference in the spring. The following
summer I worked at a Christian summer camp for kids just as I had done the
previous 3 summers. Starting in the fall of my sophomore year I began to have a
drink every now and then. Nothing much, just a little rum in my Dr. Pepper or
the occasional beer. I didn’t get drunk or even tipsy; that is, until the night
of my last final at the end of the semester. That afternoon I bought about four
liters of assorted alcoholic beverages from a buddy and we partied that night.
I drank a glass of wine, a beer, a mix drink containing 4 shots of Bacardi
raspberry rum and then starting taking straight shots. I had 9 shots of Crown
royal whiskey, 2 of UV Blue Raspberry vodka, 3 of Bacardi Puerto Rican rum and
2 of Jack Daniels whiskey. All this took place in the span of about 3 hours,
and I was smoking hooka the entire time as well. I. HAVE. NEVER. BEEN. SICKER.
I threw up for 10 minutes straight that night and then fell asleep and slept
most of the next day. After recovering from my first binge drinking experience I
swore off liquor and didn’t touch it for the next 2 months. </div>
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A key point that I need to at least very briefly touch on
before I continue (and this is not to make an excuse for my actions) is that
during this time, my parents had just split up. My mom left with the kids and
moved to Louisiana with her parents and their divorce was in progress. It was
not until a few weeks ago that it was finalized, so the entirety of 2012, I was
dealing with all of the shit that hit the fan between me and each of my parents
because of that. As well as the internal struggle I was going through of how
you could be these parents that have always preached the gospel to me yet here
you are treating each other in the vilest of manners and ending a union before
God that you swore was for the course of your earthly lives.</div>
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After that I allowed myself to have a small drink every now
and then but NEVER would I get drunk again. Right. That didn’t last long. For
the rest of that semester, I and a small group of friends would drink every
single Monday night and get completely wasted. I drank some form of alcohol
every single day and would get drunk at least twice a week. I started missing
church and I honestly didn’t care. I had become completely apathetic about
Christianity and my beliefs. I didn’t know if I believed in the God that the
bible described or if there even was a god. I thought about what the bible
taught and decided it was completely ridiculous…I mean, seriously. There is
this all powerful, all knowing being out there who lives in another dimension
and when I die I will go be with him if I have lived a good life and followed
him? What does that even mean? Or better yet, who cares?! All I cared about was
getting to the weekend, finding the next party, drinking, or messing around
with whatever girl I could find. </div>
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Of course, the majority of my friends were from my Christian
circle, so these thoughts and attitudes were not completely worn on my sleeve.
I still walked the walk sometimes and talked the talk just to keep in their good
graces. But that is where my heart was at. Then there was one Sunday morning
that I actually went to church and everything began to change. That morning
there was an informational meeting after the service for a summer program
called Vintage. It sounded really fun. We would be living together at the
church, a bunch of guys and girls, some I knew and some I didn’t, going on
small group retreats, retreats with the whole group, a trip to Toronto,
Canada…it could be worth looking into. Looking back now, I have no idea what
made me want to live in biblical community with a bunch of people and commit my
whole summer to studying and growing closer to the Lord, but I did, and it was
such an amazing summer. I formed relationships with both guys and girls on a deeper
level than I had ever had before. I opened myself up to them and let them see
my struggles in life as well as within myself. I connected with the Lord like
never before and I launched myself into the new semester with a ferocity and
passion I didn’t know I could possess. </div>
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Good story right? Yay! After a long road of straying from
the Lord, I have finally reconnected, I know the truth and I am living a
pleasing life in his eyes! I wish I could say that that is how last semester
went, but sadly it isn’t. Just like the Israelites, I was very quick to forget
the grace and truth that had been shown me.</div>
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I spent the majority of last semester in solitude, shutting
almost all of the people that I cared about out of my life. I wrestled daily
with issues like the so called truth found in scripture, if God was real, what
religion had it right if any of them, or did they all lead the same place as
long as you were devoted? What is the soul or is there even such a thing? How
can Christianity be the one true way when all I see in the people who follow
that way is outright hypocrisy, judgmentalism and hatred? If that is what a
Christian is like, then I do not what to be one. It all seemed so complicated
and I was tired of trying to figure it out. I was torn between what I was
seeing, and the personal experiences I had encountered. In my heart, I knew God
was real, I knew He loved me and I wanted to live accordingly, but it just
didn’t all add up. And then one day, it clicked. It was so simple! How did I
spend an entire semester battling this?! GOD WASN’T THE PROBLEM!!! WE ARE!!
You, and me, and him, and her, and mom, and dad, and my pastor, and the guy I
sit next to in class…IT’S US! </div>
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Ok so get this, because this was my break through. God gave
us his word, described in that very word as a sword. He gave us this sword to
defend our selves with, and what do we do with it? We go around lopping off the
heads of any who dare say we have it wrong. We use it to try to control, we
bend and break that sword to make it what WE want it to be, not what He
intended it to be. You see, God’s word, His truth isn’t the problem; it is how
we bend and stretch it to fit what we want it to mean that is causing all the
problems. So I bend it this way and you bend it that way and suddenly, my version
disagrees with yours, and now we have something to argue and hate each other
over. We see it all the time, whole churches split because of stupid
inconsequential things like music or some little, irrelevant to salvation part
of doctrine. Not to mention the 59 ½ different denominations or the
denominations within denominations like the First, Second, Third, Fourth and 42<sup>nd</sup>
Baptist Church…what is wrong with us?! Not to mention the blatant hypocrisy
that so many of us live in. The fact that a guy can call himself a follower of
Christ, be so against alcohol in any form, hate it, despise it, look down on
those who partake in it and very nearly wish it didn’t exist, and then turn
around and have sex with his girlfriend every single day…it blows my mind. When
did we start picking and choosing which parts of the bible are true or not?
Where in the bible does it say alcohol is of the devil? I am pretty sure it
talks about drinking a lot in the bible…Jesus turned water into wine, right?
And GOOD wine at that! And where in the bible does it talk about sexual
immorality? Oh right, EVERYWHERE! (Again, I want to clarify that I do not think
that I am perfect, far from it; I screw up more than anyone I know.) Just don’t
get on your soapbox about any one “moral issue” if you are going to turn around
and so blatantly disregard those morals in another area.</div>
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So where am I at now…? I am definitely a Christian, I know
that much. But I see things in a very different light these days. I will write
a more detail post on that next time.</div>
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Ok so at this point I am going to conclude this post because
it has become WAY to long. The next few posts will be in the vein of things I
see in Christianity that don’t make sense to me. How or why we choose to act
the way we act or attack the things we attack. I don’t really have my thoughts
together on all of it yet, but once I do, you will be the first to know.</div>
ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-41249755528092657492012-10-17T23:37:00.004-05:002012-10-17T23:37:57.944-05:00ResponsibilityResponsibility. This is something I am majorly learning about right now. This encapsulates many different aspects of my life, very nearly all of them.<br />
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Ever since I moved out of the house 2 1/2 years ago I have been virtually completely financially independent. The Lord provided financial blessing on me in the form of my grandfather for a little while freshman year, which I was very thankful for. It was never something I took for granted so I forced myself not to rely on it. So before I go any further, if you read this Poppa, thank you for that. :) Other than that however, I have supported myself 100% since I moved out. That is, until now. In the past 6 months or so, I have relied heavily on my parents, which is not a bad thing or something to be ashamed of, but for me it is not right. One, because I am better than that and two because I shouldn't need to. Here is what I mean by that. I don't mean I am better than that in a prideful way. I mean it in that, I have supported myself in the past, and I have the ability to do so, so I need to continue. Lately I have been very irresponsible with my money management. And not even in big ways. I don't go out buying myself random crap that I don't need. But it is the little things that hurt the most because you think you can get away with it, and then a month later, you don't know where your money went.<br />
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Also with academics. School is kicking my butt this semester. I keep up with my studies but I procrastinate way to much. If I would do school first and then reward myself with doing the things I want to do, my life would be so much easier and less stressful! And wasting time. Goodness I waste so much time. The most valuable asset/currency humans posses, and I spend it doing worthless things. I need to spend more time in the Word, journaling, playing my guitar, spending time investing in my friends or working out instead of watching worthless TV shows or sleeping.<br />
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Health. I have got to be more responsible with my health. That means stop eating out so much and cook for myself more. That was one of my biggest reasons for wanting an apartment this year and I have barely utilized it! Tonight was good, I made a delicious salad and cooked some fish and potatoes for myself and Logan.<br />
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My salad (on the right) had mixed greens, half a granny smith apple, walnuts, pistachios, feta cheese and a pineapple balsamic vinaigrette. So delicious! I baked some tilapia with a little butter, salt, pepper and lemon pepper and finished it off with some lemon juice after it baked. The potatoes were by far the most unhealthy thing. I pan cooked them in quite a bit of butter, a little seasoning salt, and cayenne pepper. Then ate them with a dollop of sour cream. It all took about 30 minutes or so. Super easy dinner, fairly inexpensive and while it may not be the most healthy think out there, it was much better for me than pizza or some type of fast food. That also means that I need to start working out at least a few times a week again and majorly cut back or stop smoking all together.<br />
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Responsibility in my relationships with both my friends and with the Lord is a huge issue right now. I tend to blame it on school and life, which are two valid reasons that I am slack in this area, but there is more I could do to maintain my relationships right now, I just choose not to and that is wrong. I am gonna name drop again...I am so thankful every time I am blessed to talk to Kaitlin Patton. She is constantly an encouragement to me to make time for the Lord and make sure that I at the very least maintain that relationship, it is the most important one after all! I cannot thank you enough Kaitlin for every word you say to me. The thought of you not being a regular part of my life come December makes me very sad.<br />
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I don't want to end on a sad note, so here is some positive things in my life right now. This will be a mixture of praise/prayer requests:<br />
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1) The Lord is faithful even when we are unfaithful. It looks very strongly like I have a buyer for my motorcycle, which will help me tremendously financially right now! Pray it goes through!<br />
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2) I am beginning to find a little clarity in life as I examine who I am right now and what my purpose/goals are while I am in school. That involves a lot of journaling and introspection on my part as well as seeking to reconnect with the Lord.<br />
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3) Life is what you make it, and right now I am doing my darnest to be responsible but make it enjoyable. It is starting to work. :)ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-21229752412747380822012-10-07T21:33:00.002-05:002012-10-07T21:34:13.598-05:00New Old JobSo I have begun a new job, or rather, returned to an old one. I am working up on Jenkins mountain in Morrilton at Ozark Conference Center again. I am hosting retreats one weekends occasionally, but the bulk of my work involves maintenance. 325 acres takes a lot of work to keep beautiful and everything running smoothly. I do a LOT of mowing on our ZTR mowers and more weed eating than I care to think about. But then there are days when I get to do things like cut trees down, cut them up and split it all, or clear out a 2 year overgrown flowerbed, replant flowers and mulch it. Or sometimes fix little things like a broken faucet or change a deadbolt. I know what you are thinking; that is hard physical labor, why are you talking about it like it is fun? Well, because I love doing it. I don't know why, but I have always loved working with my hands, especially when it is hard stuff that most people don't or can't do themselves. It is the feeling of being self sufficient and knowing that one day when I need to do these types of things on my own property, I will be able to. Plus, that feeling you have at the end of a long day of work where you are completely and utterly exhausted from your labors, I love that feeling.<br />
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Aside from all that, it provides me an opportunity to escape. I get up to go to work at 5:30am. I am on the road by 6 and have started whatever project I am working on by 6:30. I get to see the sunrise which is something I haven't seen in a long time up until the past few weeks.<br />
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I often work for 7-8 hours straight without stopping and without seeing another soul. It gives me time to be alone with my thoughts and the Lord and mull things over. And believe me, I have a lot to mull over these days. There are also times that I get to work along side Mike Brown. Now let me tell you a little about Mike. Mike is one of the most amazing men I have ever met. He is a loving husband, and loving father of his three girls. He is generous with both his time and money and loves to love people. The man works harder than anyone I have ever met, but he also knows how to relax and have a good time. He has a wonderful relationship with the Lord and seeing him encourages me to further pursue and deepen my own. And goodness gracious, literally every day I spend working with him I learn something new, whether it be how to read a log to know which way to best split it, or how to keep a chainsaw in proper working order, or how to lay wood flooring so the light doesn't make the grain pop, you name it, he knows it, and he teaches it to me. I have more respect for him than anyone else I know.<br />
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I also get to run the Zip Line whenever we have a group there that wants to do it. That is always fun because I get to be on top and that is by far the best position to run. :)ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-58380710561882633862012-09-24T09:44:00.001-05:002012-09-24T09:44:51.411-05:00Reflections<br />
Ok guys, so it has been quite a long time since I last blogged, and a LOT has happened, so I might end up rambling. You actually might want to go ahead and brew yourself a pot of coffee or tea or something, because if you plan on reading this whole post, you are gonna need it. Here goes.<br />
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People have come and gone in my life in the past 5 months, some by my own choosing, others because that's how life works, and others are still here but the dynamic of our relationships have changed, some for good and some for bad. I have gained and lost love a few times, made new friends, reconnected with old friends and even sweeter, I have seen the Lord mend friendships in my life that only a few short months ago I would have been fine with never seeing those people again. I have grown a lot in ways, yet at the same time I have even more questions now than I did 5 months ago. Let's start this story with the God chapter.<br />
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What can I say besides I really don't understand what it is that He is doing in my life right now. From January to June I was very much so a bitter person who wanted nothing to do with God, Christianity or (most of) my Christian friends. I drank multiple nights a week (during the school year) just because I could. I messed around with more girls in those six months than I have in my whole life and I was in general completely miserable. Well, this summer I participated in a local summer project called Vintage. It was an eight week discipleship program that my church, First Baptist Church of Russellville, has done for the past several years. I hated every spiritual moment of it for the first four weeks. Then God began to get a hold of my heart and remind me what true joy felt like. Why I ever ran from that to begin with, I will never understand. As He was mending my relationship with Him, he mending broken relationships with friends, as well as forming new relationships with a group of guys who impacted my life more than they will ever fully know. There are two relationships in particular that came from this summer that I hold especially dear to my heart. Now, a disclaimer before I name these two people: God used so many people in my life this summer and I will never forget the impact they all had on me, but I would sit at this computer for the next month if I was going to name them all and tell how they impacted me, so for the sake of time, I have selected these two people. TJ Posey and Kaitlin Patton. Now, don't go getting big heads you two. :)<br />
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I had never met TJ before this summer, but he very quickly became my closest guy friend and the person I would run to for advice, or just to talk to before anyone else. God used him to help me see many of my faults in the area of pride and control. He helped me as I am going dealing with my parents getting a divorce and how that was affecting me and my siblings. Now mind you, our conversations were not always deep spiritual ones. There was more than one occasion when I talked to him about girls. Haha as silly as that may seem, he was always there to listen to me while I spilled my guts about what was going on and then he would begin to talk as I sat there and listened to wisdom flow forth from him. He was constantly reminding me to take it all to the Lord and surrender the timing of things to Him. He helped remind me that when I am seeking after something vigorously, and not seeking the Lord's guidance in it, He often time doesn't allow me to reach that goal. It is only when I give it all to Him and focus on Him that He brings these things I desire into my life. And sometimes, not even then.<br />
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And Kaitlin. Oh dear sweet Kaitlin. We had many good long talks this summer, most of which involved me talking to her about herself. Ironically though, the effect that had, was exposing areas in my own life that I had chosen to suppress or ignore which where having detrimental effects on my feelings of security. It lead me to realize that I put far to much stock into who accepts me and who doesn't. I was living a life based off of what other people thought of me, how they rated or viewed me, all the while claiming that I really didn't care about what people think of me. Those talks convicted me deeply and made me realize that I didn't care if people thought badly of me because I drink and smoke (just as two basic examples), but I did care if people thought badly of me because I worship God and am a follower of Jesus Christ. How messed up is that?! She made me realize that my identity was tied up in how far I could run, or how good I was at ultimate frisbee, or what my body looked like, when instead, all I should care about is my relationship with the Lord. Yes there are other things that we have to think about while living here on this earth, but they should never take center stage like they had in my life.<br />
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There is so much more I could say about those two and everyone else from this summer, but I will just leave it at that for the time being. I guess I will go ahead and prematurely close the God chapter of this post. Which actually will never fully close if He is truly the center of my life, but you know what I mean. There is so much more I could directly say here but it is late and there is no way I will be able to put it all in here.<br />
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Chapter two I will call the girl chapter. This chapter will have to stay very anonymous for obvious reasons.<br />
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Our hearts are so very fickle. We fall in and out of "love" at the drop of a hat. For me, there has been three girls since about April that I have "talked" to. The first, one was someone a friend tried to set me up with. She and I did not hit it off right away, we had to work to have a good friendship which I feel as though we did. After a month or so of talking the attraction began to grow and we started discussing the idea of dating. But after a while we realized that because of life and circumstances, we just weren't meant to be together. It honestly made me very sad because I had really grown to like her and what we had felt good. But, God had other plans. The second girl I have been friends with for a long time and we did in fact date for a short while (real anonymous I know...haha). Things were going good and I honestly love that girl more than anyone in the whole world, but once again, God said no. I tried to come up with a million reasons why we shouldn't be together, and none of them were reason enough for me to end things between us. But there was this feeling that I couldn't shake, this pricking in my soul that could only be the Holy Spirit. We talked about it and she said everything I had been thinking, verbatim. At that point I knew that it was God telling us no, so we ended the romantic side of our relationship. Thankfully, she is still one of my dearest friends and will be for a very long time. The third girl was someone I hadn't know for to terribly long. Things between us began just as friends but we went very deep with each other. I found in her someone I could trust, I could bare my soul to her with no fear of rejection or judgmental-ism. She made me feel more emotionally safe than anyone had in a very long time. From there things progressed to the attraction stage. However, for a number of reasons that will remain private, we decided that we valued each others friendship more than we did a relationship that had the potential to end and destroy that friendship, so we decided to remain platonic friends. And now here I am, single (but looking ;)) and happy. But waiting excitedly for whoever God decides to put in my life next.<br />
As a side note in this chapter: for a lot of christian people, there is this taboo associated with "girl" hopping. It "indicates" a lack of commitment, an unfaithful or unsatisfiable heart, or says that you are just simply out to get what you can and enjoy yourself. I could not disagree with that more. They way I see it is, look for love. You might not find it right away, but how will you ever find it if you aren't looking for it. "Talking" to girls is not a bad thing unless you make it that, or unless you really are just looking to get what you can and move on. That's all.<br />
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Third and final chapter for this post. Let's call it the "itch" chapter.<br />
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I have this itch. I want to just go, do. I want to see the world. I want to save enough money for a round trip plane ticket to somewhere, put a few hundred in my pocket and then get the hell out of dodge. I want to spend 6 months in Spain, learning the language and walking the Camino de Santiago, 3 months in Italy eating good food and refining my culinary arts. I want to see Lebanon where my ethnic roots are, and New Zealand's majestic mountain ranges. I want to go to Australia long enough to pick up the accent and go to Africa and see a wild lion. I want to go to a third world country and see the poverty. I want my heart to be broken for the nations, for the little children who don't know when they will get to eat again. I want to make a difference in someones life. I can't change the world, I know that, but I can change at least one persons life, I want that. Yes there are things I want to do like get into the DEA and have a good career, but I have my whole life to do that. I want to spend the next few years DOING before I settle down in this pathetic culture we call America and immerse myself in consumerism. Or maybe I'll leave and just never come back. I don't know yet. All I know right now, is that all these plans I have had for years about what my life is going to look like, I don't want yet. I want to shake things up. I want to be stranded in a different country where I barely know the language, not a dollar to my name with nothing except the clothes on my back, my journal and my guitar and have to work my ass off just to be able to eat that night. How else will I ever be able to really appreciate the things I do have, or the breath I take every 2 seconds? Some people are going to read this and say that I am an arrogant, immature fool. That I am going to end up getting myself killed. Well honestly, I would rather die hungry in Africa, than die sitting on my couch from a clot in my heart while I eat McDonald's and watch How I Met Your Mother.<br />
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I know that this whole post was a little scatterbrained, sorry about that. I'll post again soon...hopefully. Hahaultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-74152010158004746662012-04-25T20:32:00.000-05:002012-04-25T20:32:00.390-05:00My Other Half<br />
There is another half of me. You are out there in this world somewhere, I just need to find you. I am looking, believe me, I am searching diligently. Sometimes I think I have found you but then all of the sudden you are gone and I am forced to realize that it wasn't ever actually you but someone pretending to be you. It seems like a cruel joke at times but that is just life. Anyways, this is the beginning of a little slam poem I wrote the other night as I was thinking about you and what I want you to be like.<br />
<i><br /></i><br />
<i>This one's for the girl,</i><br />
<i>For the girl that isn't perfect and doesn't try to be,</i><br />
<i>For the girl that isn't afraid to go out in public without make-up on,</i><br />
<i>She'll sing off key in church and won't care</i><br />
<i>because God says to make a joyful noise which doesn't neccessarily mean a beautiful one.</i><br />
<i>She isn't always talking about or thinking that she is fat,</i><br />
<i>but she stays active and fit because it feels good,</i><br />
<i>This one's for the girl who loves "pillow talk" for hours on end</i><br />
<i>and won't get mad when it ends in a tickle fight.</i><br />
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And that is as far as I have gotten. More to come...well maybe not soon, but enventually. Haha<br />ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-44260927999517461642012-04-23T09:48:00.000-05:002012-04-23T09:48:11.861-05:00Pain Like This, I Have Never Before Known<i>**Needless to say, this is the internet and for the sake of the parties involved, I won't be telling you the exact situation or who is involved, but I do want and need prayer as I work through this, which is why I am writing in on here.**</i><br />
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My heart is heavy this morning as I ponder my situation. And by heavy I mean screaming in agony over the hurt I have caused my best friend. As the title of my post illustrates, I have literally never felt emotional pain like what I am going through right now. So much so that it makes me nauseous at times.<br />
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I am the type of person that can easy break ties with other people if I feel that they are not good for me, or even (sinfully) if I am just tired of them. It isn't hard, it doesn't pain me, it is actually scarily easy for me. But this-dear God, THIS is killing me. Guys, I am not emotional at all. Anyone who reads my posts probably knows me well enough to know that, but I have cried like a little baby over this. I have cried because I want to shoot myself for being such an imbecile, because this is a loss that I don't want to have to live the rest of my life without, and because I have damaged (possible irreparably) the friendship that I hold the most dear in my life. Not just currently in my life, but out of all the friendships I have ever had, I hold this one in the highest regard, and closer to my heart than even <b>I</b> realized. The saying, "You don't know what you have until you lose it" is so true. It kills me and makes me stop and reevaluate my life, to think that I could act in such a way that someone would finally just say, "I done with this." Those words have echoed in my head almost non-stop for the past 12 days. I have spent every single night for the past 12 nights thinking about where I am at and how the hell I got here. And I have my answer. And it is not one that I can easily face, but one I know I must.<br />
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Last night I had a dream, a wonderful, glorious, beautiful, hope giving dream. I dreamt of restitution. It was like a breath of air after being trapped underwater for what seems like an eternity. Was it simple and easy, absolutely not, but it was restitution nonetheless.<br />
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So to end, please pray for me in a number of ways (even though this post is so super vague):<br />
1) Pray that I will know how to move on from here in a way that conveys humility and repentance in order that I find forgiveness.<br />
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2) Also please pray for guidance from the Lord for me as I continue to try search myself and come face to face with where <b>I</b> have been wrong rather than focusing on where I have <b>been</b> wronged. Only by doing that will any progress be made.ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-64745294705944642922012-03-07T01:31:00.002-06:002012-03-07T01:31:50.844-06:00Ok, so I am gonna lay it all on the table here, because we all make mistakes, we all have hard times, and we will all do things we regret. And while grace is not an <b>excuse</b> to sin, it does <b>cover</b> my sin on a daily basis. So here goes.<br />
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First off, this post could be very offensive to some people, but I am purposefully not censoring my thoughts to give you the fullest picture I can of where my heart has been the past several weeks. Bottom line, I need prayer, and lots of it. The first part to fixing a problem is admitting/realizing that you have one. I have come that far at least. Thank you Lord for your unending forgiveness and grace.<br />
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The past several weeks I have been very discontented and frankly unhappy with where the Lord has me right now. I am to a point where I am so ready for another relationship, and God just isn't letting it happen. So I instead turn to anything else that that world has to offer me to bring me temporary satisfaction.<br />
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Anything but God.<br />
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I have been drinking (not in excess, and not to complete drunkenness, but being underage, any is to much), I have been smoking (a lot), I have been flirting with anything that has two legs and a vagina, and I have been cussing like a sailor (around the groups of people that that is "cool" in). I have been super focused on work and making money, and then spending that money on more things to make me "happy", whether it be new tools, climbing gear, outdoors gear in general, more cigars, alcohol, or stuff for my truck. I have not focused enough on school. The list could go on and on, but you get the idea.<br />
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So I say all that to say this. Please pray for me. Thankfully the Lord has never let me wander so far away from him that I get to where I can't see him anymore, but I have been pretty distanced from Him lately. And frankly mad that He won't give me what I want, because we all know that I know what I best for me...or that might be a lie I tell myself to ease my conscience...yeah, it is.<br />
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<br />ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-57155793488731414212012-01-25T23:00:00.000-06:002012-01-25T23:00:13.269-06:00EmotionsHey world,<br />
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Tonight is going to be a super short post, like one thought short, but I need you to know something.<br />
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I know that just about all of the time I come across as Mr. Tough Guy and nothin' can touch me. But that is just because I am good at hiding my emotions and feelings. Now I could go into a long psychological story about my childhood and why I am the way that I am (all of which is true) but that is another story for another post.<br />
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So here I am. This is me NOT hiding anything. I have feelings too, and you hurting them. You know who you are. I know that I am an infernal ass sometimes, and I am truly sorry. I'm not perfect and never will be. Please forgive me, but then don't shun or reject me...because that isn't forgiveness.<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
Meultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-49585847151234853112012-01-12T18:11:00.000-06:002012-01-12T18:17:38.448-06:00Forgiveness...It Is A Wonderful ThingForgiveness.<br />
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What a beautiful word.<br />
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It is probably my favorite word out of all the words in all of the languages in the world. Why? Well because without it I would be a dead man. Sure, I would have "fun" for the short time I am here on planet earth, but ultimately I would spend much longer (eternity actually) in absolute agony, separated from God.<br />
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At Passion 2012 just a little over a week ago, Louie Giglio talked about forgiveness and who you should forgive. One of the things that he said was that you have to forgive yourself. At first I was thinking that it sounded kind of cliche, but as he kept talking it made perfect sense. I mean, what are we really saying if we don't forgive ourselves for the things we do? Ultimately we might as well spit in Christ's bloody beaten face and say that his sacrifice on the cross was not enough to pay for our sins! Because when we beat ourselves up over our sin and punish ourselves for it, that is exactly what we are doing. Christ has forgiven us if we have come to him and asked for it. And he doesn't forgive us but remember what we did and constantly remind us of how horrible we are for having done that. No. Here is how God forgives.<br />
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Hebrews 10:17-18-Then he adds, "I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more." Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no long any offering for sin. (This was quoting Jeremiah 31:34)<br />
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Jeremiah 31:31-34-Behold, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the LORD. For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the LORD: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people. And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.<br />
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And Paul says this about his mindset which I believe we would all do well to mimic to the best of our abilities:<br />
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Philippians 3:12-13-Not that I have already obtained this (becoming like Christ) or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.<br />
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We cannot be all out for the Lord if we are being held back by our sins. This is why He offers total and complete forgiveness. We don't have to do ANYTHING to obtain it other than accept it. So what are we waiting for?<br />
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<br />ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-30382387862994174152012-01-06T19:33:00.001-06:002012-04-25T20:15:11.220-05:00Movements of the Holy SpiritThe following story is a real experience that happened to me last night. The Lord has seen fit to place me in the midst of a trial right now and I know He will sustain me, but I would still appreciate your prayers.<br />
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<i>"GOD WHERE ARE YOU?! I know you are out there and I know you are real. I have seen your hand work in my life over and over. I have heard of your awesome and mighty miracles. Not just in the bible but in real time. Here, now, in my life, all around me. So then why are you letting this happen? Why have you forsaken me in this time?!" All of this I scream at the sky. On my knees beating the earth desperate to be heard by my maker. Tears streaming from my eyes, voice raw, my heart breaking, soul wrenching. I look out off of the mountain I am on, three crosses behind me, no one else around. I have never cried or prayed this hard before. </i><br />
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Then it all stops. I open my eyes. I'm sitting on a bus surrounded by people. All of that was happening in my mind but it seemed completely real. The grass beneath my hands and toes, the warm wetness streaming down my cheeks, the taste of blood and salt on my tongue, the anguish of my heart. So I curl up in my seat with a blanket over my head and softly sob, letting it all out and giving it all to the Lord. I have no control over the situation or way of changing it so it is in your hands now Father. I love you. <br />
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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhoneultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-64301705241708306642011-03-19T01:36:00.000-05:002011-03-19T01:36:29.114-05:00A Night of Desserts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">So it has been a while since I have blogged, and given that tonight is the first night of spring break I thought I should celebrate by making some desserts that I created tonight (very much so on the spot) and blogging about it! So tonight Em is spending the night here...about 10:00 pm Lauren got my taste buds going by making some pitas with feta, black olives and parsley. So we loaded up, went to Walmart and bought our basic ingredients. Whole Oats, Chocolate, Plantains, Strawberries, Raspberries, and Hickory Swiss/Cheddar Cheese.</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8LF3E8rxSMXqE4dSM94Xr4vfvR5GPKWYN9ppK8SXa9IMy05LWwb5YB8A00YeRGo6nXgU4fIZzEmZLjp8Met_UjSZhNFDBqhdEJ7QKerKhwW_bwVSksAyOn0Ivq0ovYUA6sUoak3PUiSY/s1600/100_3921.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8LF3E8rxSMXqE4dSM94Xr4vfvR5GPKWYN9ppK8SXa9IMy05LWwb5YB8A00YeRGo6nXgU4fIZzEmZLjp8Met_UjSZhNFDBqhdEJ7QKerKhwW_bwVSksAyOn0Ivq0ovYUA6sUoak3PUiSY/s320/100_3921.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thankfully my beautiful sister agreed to help me out a little with the cutting of the strawberries!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqPFXl7G434MwNGaM4N69i7KyOcZ4ySF_41sVAXEa7MdABdkSQJR_9eUX9z3Il2UT9-_krUFyv-DV6PcG-KLDw3qniF9bST_iD1VNHf2rDjEr4doJrzKwiE11afVhrrM9EdEyEewEdWhc/s1600/100_3923.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqPFXl7G434MwNGaM4N69i7KyOcZ4ySF_41sVAXEa7MdABdkSQJR_9eUX9z3Il2UT9-_krUFyv-DV6PcG-KLDw3qniF9bST_iD1VNHf2rDjEr4doJrzKwiE11afVhrrM9EdEyEewEdWhc/s320/100_3923.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love this kind of stuff...</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRIHBDuiQ6P6uV8lrvOL3h9WfKxTV788VPFyZCHJ7fuP08zLMXDnyBRAGG7DNFQ7QnNTabAi_EQ4wplG54GRAjn1QHmeOxZfJio8v04HQ52llHp37a1R-0CruFnuNtynAfSOBfNsWuZ2U/s1600/100_3928.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRIHBDuiQ6P6uV8lrvOL3h9WfKxTV788VPFyZCHJ7fuP08zLMXDnyBRAGG7DNFQ7QnNTabAi_EQ4wplG54GRAjn1QHmeOxZfJio8v04HQ52llHp37a1R-0CruFnuNtynAfSOBfNsWuZ2U/s320/100_3928.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ok so the first thing I decided to make was pan fried Plantains with Hickory Swiss/Chedder cheese garnished with strawberries and a white wine reduction with strawberries and fresh cranberries! The Plantains were not ripe enough so it wasn't as good as it could have been, but it was still pretty good. I fried the plantains in a little butter and sprinkled a little sugar on them while the were frying to take a little of the bitterness out. Then I topped them with the cheese, strawberries and topped them off with the wine reduction.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB8sBehfzyv1Q2dWSrkgJDDkucsTaSNAMkQM0KeAdv_0NsfxfZSN2OSvRE_oB8hd3Pw2tTlBqpvS7r5m1PRpVpnaHojdv3FBGw3-BNfdkBzJ9M_t2U0dVo5uGd8dNcsvLiFMApazzhR7I/s1600/100_3926.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB8sBehfzyv1Q2dWSrkgJDDkucsTaSNAMkQM0KeAdv_0NsfxfZSN2OSvRE_oB8hd3Pw2tTlBqpvS7r5m1PRpVpnaHojdv3FBGw3-BNfdkBzJ9M_t2U0dVo5uGd8dNcsvLiFMApazzhR7I/s320/100_3926.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the wine reduction after it was done cooking. I just strained the amount I needed for plantains out and left the rest there for the time being. It was delish!!</td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhITXbEB4ShFX6KZvu7zhkOfeqds6J-9xM8QdsEkz-SZwKScg9mALgp_E0sHV91ChyYtBRd_9A2ln035jzbgMMWjSdftW3JP8l43SZGh2HxzA2Eid1pxfCa9m1s8UjKU4JoBdyKUtcOACE/s1600/100_3930.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhITXbEB4ShFX6KZvu7zhkOfeqds6J-9xM8QdsEkz-SZwKScg9mALgp_E0sHV91ChyYtBRd_9A2ln035jzbgMMWjSdftW3JP8l43SZGh2HxzA2Eid1pxfCa9m1s8UjKU4JoBdyKUtcOACE/s320/100_3930.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIO_Cg25OZA9mktmnOgSfcHpwLDQncDSeSuSLQFBmb2GRPuRMLdrfGYYoiXrhDzDUWV6jmggyAKmc8Kn7OpcgNQNDlSzSRtG0vXEo5eSU1llBBGCCc0j6F7e62nOOZde3S92ZVMRLOaBI/s1600/100_3936.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIO_Cg25OZA9mktmnOgSfcHpwLDQncDSeSuSLQFBmb2GRPuRMLdrfGYYoiXrhDzDUWV6jmggyAKmc8Kn7OpcgNQNDlSzSRtG0vXEo5eSU1llBBGCCc0j6F7e62nOOZde3S92ZVMRLOaBI/s320/100_3936.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lets just say...we enjoyed them... =)</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4F-Lal5yTOUR1za66qo9JJC20PaKaFRYYXRvkpTJUgbqbTq9T6iH2Z-2OTBx7xVMAEtFuWrltMZuZCVzSg6rRgx2p-7dI8py9EEGJPB-lfSy3pplBUQX-vp6eHXksmChhOW7WzaJMp7o/s1600/100_3942.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4F-Lal5yTOUR1za66qo9JJC20PaKaFRYYXRvkpTJUgbqbTq9T6iH2Z-2OTBx7xVMAEtFuWrltMZuZCVzSg6rRgx2p-7dI8py9EEGJPB-lfSy3pplBUQX-vp6eHXksmChhOW7WzaJMp7o/s320/100_3942.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Secondly I made two different kinds of Chocolate crumble things. I don't really know what to call them. haha</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzeNCGR95tOdKvMBEjZqhK_6XTL_qSoD1Qem2xjxD6ItxzYEwe_C6ua3nnCRGOdLbC4HZIfuXTRbHBtwtcgZnfyToStjuWfpBqPGhmYBUEATCEvKwJeyhlZHf5jjRCjU6Kcr2kk64g6ig/s1600/100_3941.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzeNCGR95tOdKvMBEjZqhK_6XTL_qSoD1Qem2xjxD6ItxzYEwe_C6ua3nnCRGOdLbC4HZIfuXTRbHBtwtcgZnfyToStjuWfpBqPGhmYBUEATCEvKwJeyhlZHf5jjRCjU6Kcr2kk64g6ig/s320/100_3941.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So both of these are the same except the one on the left has raspberries in it and the one on the right has strawberries. They consist of Whole Oats pan toasted with a little bit of butter, cinnamon and sugar. Then mixed with the individual fruits and the melted chocolate. Then I spooned them on to some wax paper, stuck them in the fridge for about 20 minutes and then garnished the strawberry one with a piece of kiwi and a little powdered sugar on top of both for color!<br />
<br />
And that has been my evening! Quite wonderful in my opinion! See ya soon!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-87724244261479889542011-01-31T06:56:00.000-06:002011-01-31T06:56:06.611-06:00Quite The MorningWhat a night/morning. I now know what Caleb Kestner goes through on a regular basis.<br />
<br />
I went to bed around 1:30am, tried to fall asleep til about 3. Couldn't.<br />
<br />
Got up, drank a 5 hour energy and did homework for 2 1/2 hours.<br />
<br />
Then I went running at 5:30 am. 1 mile on the track, 2 on the dirt. 5 100 yard dashes and 2 sets of suicides.<br />
<br />
I felt great. Hit the gym at 6:10am. By 6:20am had to give up trying to do upper body because my shins hurt so bad they are all I could focus on!ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-55736627034078396472011-01-27T23:38:00.000-06:002011-01-27T23:38:15.434-06:00Future LeadershipSo as you know, I have been praying that God would draw me closer to Him. But recently I have also been wanting to get involved in an area of consistent service.<br />
<br />
It didn't have to be leadership, but I wanted to do something like help out with the children's ministry at FBC Russellville or something of that nature. One of my problems though has been that I don't have the time to be responsibly involved in all of the areas of service that I have open to me. I have heard people say that you can never serve too much. I disagree.<br />
<br />
If you are attempting to plug into 5 or 6 different areas of service AND take 18 hours, then something is going to suffer. And I also don't think that you will be fulfilling your duties within those service areas effectively because you are always thinking about the next thing you have to do or how much homework you have. And so not only will your service be a halfway job but so will your academics.<br />
<br />
So this past Tuesday at Fuel, the midweek worship service here at Tech, I was talking to Darrel Ray, the BCM director, and as I was leaving he said, "Come see me sometime this week." Well this afternoon I felt like I needed to stop studying for a while and just relax my brain so I walked over to the BCM to talk to him.<br />
<br />
And first I feel like I need to explain something. I am a part of a weekly bible study called Freshlife. It is a freshman bible study led by the previous year's freshmen with some general guidance by the BCM leaders. It has been THE single biggest blessing to me this year here at college. Last semester I told Darrel that I am interested in helping lead one of the Freshlife groups next year and he said that that was great and we would talk more about it this semester. So when he said for me to come see him I was assuming that is what he wanted to talk about.<br />
<br />
Well I got over there and we chatted for a while and then started talking about next years Freshlife. And then he threw me this curve ball. "Evan, I want you to be the guy that heads everything up for next year's Freshlife." Whoa! Okay, this is not at all what I was expecting. Before I responded I thought about how I have been praying lately and decided that it was pretty obvious where God wanted me to be serving this semester.<br />
<br />
Now I tell you this for two reasons. Firstly, I would covet your prayers as I start meeting with the current Freshlife leaders and discussing what worked and did not work this year and as I begin to have to make decisions about what next year will look like. Secondly, I would ask you to pray for humility for me. It is a huge honor and responsibility for me to be selected by Darrel out of about 100 students to be the one that takes over next year and I don't want that to go to my head.<br />
<br />
I am still not exactly sure what all this will entail yet, but I am really excited to see what God does next year in the BCM and Freshlife, and can only pray that he uses this to grow and teach me.<br />
<br />
One thing I have learned once again is this. We CANNOT put limiters on God. Now this is what I mean by that. So often when we pray we will say something like this, "God if I am supposed to have this car then let me be able to get it for under so and so amount." Or, "God if I am not supposed to be involved in this then give me this sign." I am really bad at that. Recently God has been directing me on big decisions in the completely opposite way that I prayed He would.<br />
<br />
Last semester I really wanted to get involved in the Fuel worship band and He just didn't allow that to happen. I now see why. If I had gotten involved in it then I would not have time to be able to head up the Freshlife groups next semester.<br />
<br />
Anyway. I just wanted to share this learning experience with ya'll and tell you how excited I am about it. =)ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-16771185282299027062011-01-22T02:23:00.000-06:002011-01-22T02:23:47.976-06:00I Don't UnderstandOk, so for those of you that actually read this thing, just know that this post will have no spiritual value for you whatsoever. It is pretty much just going to be an unspecific rant. So you might not want to read it.<br />
<br />
I am so confused right now... One day I think this whole thing is going fine and maybe just maybe I can tell how it is all going to end.<br />
<br />
But then, the next day (meaning tonight), something happens...I see one little thing, and it throws me for a friggin loop! And now I have no idea what is going on.<br />
<br />
Ok! I was fine with things going one way...and it was a way that normally I wouldn't be ok with...but for some reason I WAS fine with it. And that is part of the reason I thought maybe I knew how it was going to work out.<br />
<br />
Now...one little thing happens...a thing that SHOULD be good...but no. All of the sudden I am freaking out because the plan has changed in a split second...maybe I can get things back going in the direction the were going, but I am not sure that I want them to happen that way now...GOD...what is going on?!ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-22902007641263760822011-01-18T09:15:00.000-06:002011-01-18T09:15:08.718-06:00Spiritual And Physical Training<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">To start this post off, I want to share a rather long excerpt from another friends blog which I read this morning and it really spoke to me because I am going through some of the same things and while I know what it is I am struggling with, I don't think I can put it any better than this:</span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: inherit;">"We crave what we eat." (Made to Crave by ???? I'll have to look up the author)</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">Okay. Read it again.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">I had to.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">I had to read it three times!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">I just knew that they had typed it wrong!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">I can understand: "We eat what we crave," but this?!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">I didn't want to understand it because it was too convicting!</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: inherit;">If I eat healthy food, I will crave healthy food. If I eat junk, I will continue to crave junk.......and, sadly, continue to be left unsatisfied.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: inherit;">It's like that spiritually. We were created to crave which this books also states because it is written by a believer. We WILL crave something. Whatever we crave, we will feed. If we crave God, we will feed on His Word and being with Him.<br />
<br />
And when we are weak, we need to remove what will "entangle" us or set us up for failure. We need to protect ourselves from sinful situations and things. We need to recognize how weak we are.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #783f04; font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Currently I am working out every morning and trying to watch what I eat (as hard as that is at college). But more importantly, I am trying to become more spiritually aware. Meaning that I am trying not to just float through this semester and barely make it by spiritually. One way I want to do that is by keeping this wonderful parallel of my spiritual health and physical health in the forefront of my mind. It is actually quite simple in nature, just very hard to live out. When I eat junk food, I get to where that is the only thing I want. After a whole semester of eating junk food, I can literally watch myself gain weight and become fat. Yet that doesn't seem to stop me! Why? Because the more I indulge, the more I want that thing to try to satisfy me. But it NEVER will! But, if I force myself (even if I am not enjoying it) to eat healthily for one week, by the end of that time that is all that I want. Yes there is always that temptation to walk across the street to McD's, but it isn't all that hard to resist because I know what the effects will be and I don't want to start sliding back down hill physically. But as soon as I give way one time, it is over for at least a week. And it is SO hard to get back into those healthy habits!</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It is the same way for me with sin. If God gives me the grace not to fall in certain areas of my life that a major issues for me, then the longer I go without sinning in that area, the easier it becomes. But as soon as I slap Him in the face and say, "Nope, today I am going to treat myself to this sin" it is all over for about a week. And then I have to start back from the bottom. And how arrogant and stupid do I have to be to think that. "Oh I have been good. I'll "treat" myself to this sin." I mean, I KNOW it won't satisfy. And I KNOW what will. So WHY do I do it?! I honestly don't really have an answer that satisfies me. And I don't think I ever will. All I can do is pray for more of God's grace and mercy and beg Him not to give up on me.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I want to really KNOW God this semester! I want to be constantly involved in furthering HIS kingdom, and in making every day, every hour, every minute about HIM. This my friends, is no mean task, and one that I am probably going to fail at. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">As a matter of fact, I know I am going to fail, every day, every hour, every minute. Yeah sure I will have those few good moments when I am witnessing to someone or something like that, but in general, this semester will be a constant prayer of repentance. But I feel like that is the key. As my friend already stated, "We need to recognize how weak we are." That I find is not only one of the hardest things as a very prideful human being to do, but it is also the most liberating thing to do. And impossible to do apart from the grace of God. Once we realize that, everything only gets easier. The more I try to do things on my own the more I fail.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">God has been teaching me that recently, albeit in small ways, but still. Sometimes those are the hardest lessons to learn. It is the little things that we think we should be able to do on our own, yet we can't. But as soon as we stop trying in our own power and turn it over to God, he starts mending the broken things. It is amazing, and wonderful. Astounding in one sense and in another, it is really no big deal. You knew He could do it all along. But you were just to prideful to admit that you couldn't do it.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">So this is my prayer for this semester, that you O God would be my center, my focus. That you would continue to draw me to you and teach me how utterly dependent on you that I really am. And I know that if I keep my eyes on you, everything else going on around me will fall into place as it should. It may not be the way <b>I</b> think it should, but I know that you will work things out for my ultimate good. Thank you that you are God and I am not. That you have your sovereign hand over my life, otherwise I would be the biggest mess this world has ever seen.</span></div>ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-85683998101951887632011-01-14T08:39:00.000-06:002011-01-14T08:39:23.793-06:00Thank You =)Dear God,<br />
<br />
You know all things. Which means you know that I don't know what all is going on right now or why things are happening the way that they are. But that is ok. I am learning to trust you more through this. I don't understand why you are choosing to work in my life in the way that you are, but as I see things slowly coming together, I am so thankful that you are God and I am not. Because no matter how hard I have tried on my own, I have never been able to accomplish what it is that you are currently accomplishing. And honestly, that amazes me. I know it shouldn't, but it does. So thank you for mending broken ties and teaching me how utterly pathetic I am at the same time.<br />
<br />
Love, Your oft wayward, and always learning son,<br />
Evanultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-77720891154641413602011-01-03T00:39:00.000-06:002011-01-03T00:39:04.595-06:00God, I Need You Now More Than EverGod, tonight you brought me to my knees. <div><br />
</div><div>And I <b>HATE</b> it. </div><div><br />
</div><div>The vulnerability of being downed by confusion. </div><div><b><br />
</b></div><div><b>I</b> want to be in control! </div><div><br />
</div><div><b>IT IS MY LIFE</b>! </div><div><br />
</div><div>Why is this happening!</div><div><br />
</div><div>I don't understand, and it is so hard to trust you right now.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Please just give me <b>SOMETHING</b> to hold on to!</div><div><br />
</div><div>Anything.</div><div><br />
</div><div>And please God, draw me to you in and through this.</div><div><br />
</div><div>And please continue to do so for the rest of my life.</div><div><br />
</div><div>But especially over the next 5 months.</div><div><br />
</div><div>I guess that it all. I don't really know. I can't think straight right now.</div>ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-11696624626383163022010-12-27T19:40:00.001-06:002011-01-03T00:41:10.540-06:00Life Is A Mission Trip<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzmX0PSA_6Lf2dDt9m_YQl6FpAOu0Elr5yL23Y9hOMj-4o7xHTEByVbuhWCZ83otsA6mNJ-90L-2JidLHFLO5-lJqzCOwvqBK3tvnL_1A0BCOnmZr29yI6er_rTrGN9s649g8r2YYcTww/s1600/Michael+and+Aunt+Missy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzmX0PSA_6Lf2dDt9m_YQl6FpAOu0Elr5yL23Y9hOMj-4o7xHTEByVbuhWCZ83otsA6mNJ-90L-2JidLHFLO5-lJqzCOwvqBK3tvnL_1A0BCOnmZr29yI6er_rTrGN9s649g8r2YYcTww/s320/Michael+and+Aunt+Missy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Michael and his Mom (Aunt Missy) last Easter</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Last night from 11pm to 2:30am my brother and I had the best conversation I have ever had with my cousin. Honestly I don’t really remember how it got started, but I do know that for three and a half hours straight I was able to, as clearly as I know how, lay the gospel out to my 15 year old Roman Catholic cousin Michael Sal. Last new year he was at my house and we had about a 30 minute discussion about the Gospel. He told me last night that ever since then he has been having doubts about what he has been taught as right his whole life in the Catholic church. That made my heart so glad! I can not think of anything I would love more than to see my cousin come to a true understanding of Jesus Christ and the reality of what it means to be saved. For three and a half hours last night I asked him questions about Catholic beliefs and why he believed them and he asked me questions about what I believe and why I believe them. I think he is beginning to understand in his head what it means to be a Christian but it is such a huge leap for him to accept in and with that the consequences that will come from turning his back on his family. I see what I think is the Spirit drawing him and I pray that it continues.<br />
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He asked me to sit down with him and his dad (My uncle Mark) sometime over new years and have the same basic conversation with them. I am so excited to get to do that but at the same time it scares me. I am going to be trying to defend my faith and God against someone who has been a devout Catholic his entire life and who’s sister (my mom) turned away from Catholicism when she was 19. I know that unless God loosens his heart strings that he is going be very closed to anything that I have to say about religion.<br />
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For my cousin to turn his back on his faith and his parents faith; even though he is still staying within the Christian religion would be huge. I know God can do anything though. And my prayer is that He would save not just my cousin, but his parents and sister as well. I love that family more than any other family within my extended family that I can think of. To see all four of them have their eyes opened to the error of what the Catholic church teaches, and know you personally would be so amazing and exciting for me!<br />
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So please if you are reading this, pray for me as I share the most wonderful thing we can posses on this earth with them. Please pray that the Lord brings verses to mind as I need them and that He gives me the words to say to my family.ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-24244941390522777272010-12-21T20:59:00.000-06:002010-12-21T20:59:52.404-06:00Christmas Time, And A Fail...This week we are in Louisiana for Christmas. My family minus my dad and older brother drove down today. It took us about 7 hours. I drove for the first 4 and then we stopped for lunch. Well after lunch my mom and I switched off because we were going to listen to the sermon The God Of Worship by John Piper and I wanted to blog my thoughts about it while listening to the sermon. Well I ended up writing a page and a half long post in a word document (we are on the road I obviously don't have internet) about this sermon, it is just that good, and that was my fifth time to listen to it! Well I went to save and and accidentally hit no when it asked me if I wanted to save the changes...fail. And hour and a half of typing in a bumpy car...gone in half a second. I. Was. Ticked. Any good that that sermon had done me was erased with my thoughts... It was a terrible feeling! Oh well. We will listen to it again on the way home and I'll blog about it then. Be looking for it, it is excelent!!!!ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-34528792373959112182010-12-04T03:57:00.000-06:002010-12-04T03:57:34.041-06:00Thank You GodDear God,<br />
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Thank you.<br />
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Thank you for your love.<br />
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Thank you for your sustaining grace.<br />
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Thank you for your mercy upon me, a sinner.<br />
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Thank you for what is the start to an answer to prayer.<br />
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May you continue to answer that prayer and sustain me in YOU ALONE.<br />
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Amenultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-50109400590851072472010-11-29T21:45:00.000-06:002010-11-29T21:45:18.509-06:00The Prosperity GospelThis is SO powerful! I just wanted to share it with anyone that might read my blog! This is the second time today that Piper has spoken to me and cut me to the quick as I realize and have been guilty of this before.<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTc_FoELt8s&feature=player_embedded">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTc_FoELt8s&feature=player_embedded</a><br />
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Please take a few minutes to watch this!ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-11897961811689610582010-11-28T01:23:00.000-06:002010-11-28T01:23:08.614-06:00I cried tonight.<br />
I haven't cried since the Mexico Mission Trip in 2008.<br />
But tonight, at 12:55am, I cried.ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-24991213831723662642010-11-26T12:05:00.001-06:002011-01-03T00:42:55.421-06:00A Day For Giving ThanksSo I am a day late; I was going to post last night but I ended up passing out around 9:30 and slept until 10:30 this morning! I really needed that!<br />
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Yesterday was great! I helped my mom prepare what little she had left to do for lunch by carving both the turkeys up and arranging them on the platter. I really wish I had remembered to take some pictures for ya'll, but when your hands are covered in turkey fat you aren't really thinking about touching your camera. But it was beautiful thanks to my lovely sister Lauren. She had some red tip lettuce that she put all along the edge of the platter (the platter was a big peuter turkey) and then I cut the breasts and staggered them at the back and put all the dark meat at the front. Once the turkey was on we took fresh cranberries and put them in the center and along the edges for decoration. It honestly looked more like a Christmas turkey platter than a Thanksgiving platter because of the red and green, but regardless, it was gorgeous. Around 1:30 our guests began arriving. Mr. Denise Leake and the Carroll family came over for lunch. We had a wonderful time of fellowship over plates of turkey, cornbread dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, green beans, sweet potato casserole, yeast rolls, strawberry congealed salad and cranberry congealed salad.<br />
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After lunch we had some coffee while continuing our fellowship and transitioning in to worship. Both Mr. Denise and Mr. Phil had brought their guitars so my father and I got ours out and we played some worship songs and sang and then watched a few Loui Giglio videos that my parents had never seen.<br />
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Then of course, you can't blog about Thanksgiving and NOT talk about dessert! Around 6:45 we had some dessert. Mrs. Carroll brought two delicious pumpkin pies and Lauren made an absolutely scrumptious apple pie that we devoured with vanilla ice cream. Then there was a pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing (my personal favorite). And of course coffee for anyone that wanted some.<br />
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All in all it was a day that made me realize again how blessed I really am. I have only been home once this semester and I loved getting to spend time with my siblings. I can't believe how big the younger ones have gotten in just a few short months. I have a God who has rescued and redeemed me from an eternal death and parents who love me more than I can imagine. The Lord has provided money so that I can have an education and during my time at school continues to bless me financial and with wonderful christian friends. I am healthy. That alone is one of the things that I think I take for granted the most. Just waking up every morning being in perfect health is such a blessing from the Lord.<br />
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I guess I will end there before I start rambling. Until next time. =)ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-33316046732865133422010-11-23T02:29:00.000-06:002010-11-23T02:45:58.598-06:00Ok honestly, it is 2:30 in the morning and yes I am wide awake, but why? I can't sleep but it isn't because my blood is flowing to fast anymore. I am troubled. Why am I troubled? I know why, and it is very simple but at the same time it isn't. I need you more than ever right now but I refuse to do anything about it. Change in a persons life doesn't come without a price. And it certainly isn't something that is easy to acquire. A constantly healthy relationship with you doesn't just happen. I have to want it more than anything else in the world. I have to want it more than I want to keep the earthly relationships that I have surrounded my self with. I have to want it first and more than I want physical food or drink in the morning. I know all the right answers and right things to do. But that is the problem. It is all head knowledge. Only a very little of it is actually in my heart. God. I need you to help me be more disciplined. Help me to make all of this head knowledge, heart knowledge. Until then my life will only continue to go downhill, along with my earthly relationships, physical health, determination, discipline, and drive for anything that actually benefits me. God strip everything thing away until I have nothing to lean on but you and then lift me back up. I know that is SUCH a dangerous prayer. I am putting my friendships, health, relationship with my girlfriend, grades, everything I have on the line in that plea. But, if it draws me closer to the only thing that will ever be worth possessing, You, then it will be worth it. I just pray that you will give me the kind of strength that Job had when you tested him. Amen.ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961804874321769885.post-73216020573468425612010-11-23T01:15:00.000-06:002010-11-23T01:35:06.141-06:00Thanksgiving Break Is Here! One Last Night Of Fun.Well tonight I went to dinner at La Huerta with some people from my freshlife group. Afterward I went over to a classmates apartment and tried to finish a project so that we wouldn't have to think about it over the break, but......we ran into a few technical problems. So we did as all good college students do and we decided our time would be better spent playing Call Of Duty: Black Ops! I messed around with that for about an hour and then went to The Commons. Now for those of you out there that don't go to Arkansas Tech University, The Commons are the on campus apartments. I have some WONDERFUL friends that live over there and I can literally just go over to Landon's apartment whenever the heck I want. I do laundry over there, cook dinner, watch movies, hang out. Just what ever. There is almost always a crowd of people in the living room in the evenings! It is by far my favorite place to be on campus in the evenings. So I went over there tonight. When I got there they had just started the movie "3:10 to Yuma". That is such an amazing movie! Russell Crowe and Christian Bale, both as COWBOYS! It just doesn't get much better than that! Around 11 o'clock we all packed up and headed out to the parking lot of Second Baptist Church and played some football. Football!! At 11 pm! We played until almost 1. THIS IS COLLEGE BABY! It was pretty awesome. I met several new people, all of which are pretty awesome guys! Near the end a group of girls walked over and asked if the could play with us...we were all just kind of like...uh...sure? Like, really? 3 girls that look like they couldn't be over 16 or 17 want to play football with a bunch of guys? Several of which were about 6'6" 250 pounds. I don't think so...so they decided to just be our cheerleaders. It was odd. They wandered off into the night after about 2 minutes and 3 near misses of being pegged with the ball or players. Now I am back in the room, blogging. My blood is still pumping way to fast for me to go to sleep, but I feel like I am just rambling now...So I am gonna call it quits for this post.ultimatetreasureseekerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14817458319458311854noreply@blogger.com0